There is nothing wrong with being single, at least for a while. You can take the time to learn more about yourself and your preferences without jumping into a relationship. However, after you have spent some time being alone, sooner or later you will find yourself thinking: “I want a girlfriend!”
Even if you are surrounded by girls all the time — for example, in school or at work — you may still spend quite some time looking for a girlfriend. Want to know how to find a girlfriend without any stress or hard work? Here is a step-by-step guide on how to get a girlfriend!
1. Make sure you are ready
You may think you are ready to start a relationship as soon as possible, but you may not be as prepared as you thought you were. Most guys looking for the best way to find a girlfriend usually fall into two categories:
- You don’t have much dating experience and are looking for your first or second girlfriend. In that case, you need to be ready for your search possibly taking longer than you hoped. You also need to accept the fact that the first girl you find may not be the best option for you and you just will need to keep looking.
- You have had flings with dozens of girls, but are now ready for a serious relationship. Guys with plenty of casual dating experience often think they know everything about building a relationship, but the truth is that dating long-term is significantly different from having a new girl every week. Get ready for commitment and learn to be selfless!
Another thing you need to do before actively embarking on the “how to get a girlfriend” quest is cutting off any loose ends. Whether it’s an adolescent crush or a recent relationship, you need to let them go before you can start looking for a new girlfriend. Entering a romance with a big baggage is going to be hurtful for all parties involved.
2. Decide what you want
One of the most helpful tips on getting a girlfriend you’ll ever get is that you need to imagine your future girlfriend in detail before you can go ahead and meet girls. You may think that your ideal woman is some TV star or model, but in reality, you may want other qualities in your girlfriend.
The easiest way to decide what you are looking for is to write down a list of traits you would love to see in your future girlfriend, and some traits that are unacceptable for you. For example, you may note that you want a girl who prefers an active lifestyle and is easy-going, while smoking and hardcore partying are big no-no’s for you.
We don’t recommend focusing too much on the appearance features of your potential girlfriend. It’s okay to have preferences when it comes to weight range and hair color, but when you meet the person you click with, her appearance won’t matter as much.
3. Avoid getting desperate
Sure, you may have wondered “When will I get a girlfriend?” for a while now and things may start looking rather grim. However, one of the worst mistakes you can make on your search for a soulmate is looking desperate and needy.
The girls you meet will always recognize you as someone who is in a dire need of a girlfriend, which definitely won’t increase your chances of starting a relationship. Remain cool and confident even if it’s been years since you’ve last had a girlfriend, and then a new relationship won’t keep you waiting.
4. What do you have to offer?
A woman beginning a romantic relationship brings a lot to the table: her looks, her personality, her interests, her academic/financial success, etc. If you don’t have much to offer, then even if the relationship begins, it is not going to last very long.
So how to get a girlfriend easily? Simply make sure that you have a lot to offer to your potential soulmate! If you expect your girlfriend to have the looks of a runway model and the personality of a standup comedian, your appearance and personality should be a good match for her.
Even more importantly, you need to get your life together before you go out looking for a girlfriend. The harsh truth is that if you live with three roommates, work a minimum wage job and have a very narrow range of interests, don’t expect fabulous and successful women to flock around you in a hope to become your sweetheart.
5. Look in the right places
One of the biggest questions you need to answer is “Where can I find a girlfriend?” As the child of the 21st century, you are probably thinking that the best place to look for a girlfriend is the internet. However, even though it’s relatively easy to get a girl to talk to you online, women there are so used to attention and flirting that they may not be looking for a serious relationship.
The first thing you need to do is look around. If you’re still in high school or college, you are probably surrounded by great girls all the time. One of them may turn out to be your soulmate if you just give yourself an opportunity to get to know her better.
The same goes for the workplace. When you spend hours a day in the same office space, it may be hard to see the personality behind the name. All you need to do is pay a little more attention, and soon your most successful relationship may finally begin.
If you don’t spend too much time in large groups of people or if you haven’t found anyone you would want to call your girlfriend, you may want to venture out to new places. For example, you can begin by adopting a new hobby or start a class — chances are, you may get something bigger than a new useful skill.
6. Talk to her
After you’ve set your eyes on a girl you want to turn into your girlfriend, the next logical step is having a conversation with her. Unfortunately, it’s also the step where many guys before you have failed.
There is no universal secret on how to talk to a woman to make her interested in becoming your girlfriend. However, there is at least one essential tip: become a good listener. It’s the biggest problem for many guys: even when they want to get to know the woman better, they simply don’t ask enough questions and prefer to talk about themselves. Needless to say, that’s not a way to attract a girl.
Another important conversation tip is that you need to simply exude confidence. However, you should watch out not to overdo it, because confidence can quickly turn into arrogance, and there is a very small part of women who like their men behaving arrogantly.
7. Ask for her number
Students are often wondering: “How to get a girl number in high school?”, but the truth is that this problem isn’t going anywhere with age. Even grown-up professionals with excellent social skills often have trouble asking for the number of the woman they are interested in.
Surprisingly for many guys, getting a girl’s number doesn’t require any special skills or techniques. If you have done everything right in the first steps — mastered your communication proficiency, became an interesting person to talk to, and learned how to become super confident — asking the girl for her phone number will be as easy as asking her what time is it.
Today the most popular way to get a girl’s number is to hand her your phone and ask her to write down her number in your contact list. Always promise to text her and specify when exactly that is going to happen — for example, as you get home from the bar where you’ve met her.
8. Ask her out
Once you have her number in your phone, the only thing left to do is to set up a date and see whether the two of you are a good match. Most dating experts recommend setting up a date at least a couple of days after you’ve met. That way she will have enough time to miss you and look forward to meeting you. In the meantime, you can exchange flirty text to keep the spark going.
When you finally see each other on a date, don’t rush things. Enjoy taking the time to get to know her and allow the things to progress naturally. Soon enough you will see if the two of you have a future together, and in that case you won’t need any secret tips to make the relationship work.
If the two of you feel like you can’t spend any time apart, it means that your quest has been successful and you now have a girlfriend.
In some cases, you will be lucky enough to score a girlfriend without any “How to get a girlfriend” tutorials. Usually, however, putting an end to your loneliness requires you to make an effort, and that is exactly why we’ve created our step-by-step guide.
Whether you have plenty of romantic experience or are new to the dating scene, these tips will help you increase your chances of finding the girl of your dreams.